Well it’s official! Robbie and I are engaged!
We had looked at engagement rings some time ago and each saw some we liked but without totally giving it away in order to maintain some element of surprise. Then stupid me had to get all practical and suggest that maybe we should skip the whole engagement ring step and spend more on matching wedding bands later. Okay, he seemed okay with this but I sensed a certain amount of disappointment. As it got closer to Christmas I decided to do the unexpected and purchased an engagement ring for him.
Robbie had to work until closing at his Wal-Mart Sporting Goods job so about an hour before he was supposed to get done for the night I dropped in unexpectedly.
Me: “I need to come behind the counter for this” and dropping to one knee I said “I want to spend the rest of my life with you, will you take me”, or something like that, I’m not sure exactly as nervous as I was. I opened the ring box for him, just like in the movies (swoon) and
Him: ,” Well of course“, or something like that, I was still nervous. I put the ring on his finger and we kissed! Maybe not a Wal-Mart first, a marriage proposal and acceptance between two men, but definitely a first for our small town and this particular Wal-Mart.
We were very fortunate that I ran into a good friend of ours just prior to the proposal and instructed her when to snap the pics with my phone so that we have our personal moment recorded. Her teenage son was with her and I wasn’t sure what he’d think of the whole deal. He later told his mother that he had a new respect for us and that “Daniel’s a pretty cool guy”.
Announcing it later on Facebook was probably not the most proper way but it does seem so 21st Century and the love and congrats that followed were overwhelming!
So many people keep asking, “When’s the wedding?” We’ve yet to save the date but all of the inquiries prompted me to do a bit of research. I discovered 44% of engagements in the US are 13 to 18 months long. Not that we’re going to wait that long, but we both have some things to deal with before we can share living space and we are not about to get married and not be able to live together.
Of course Nebraska does not recognize same sex marriage, in fact the state’s constitution was amended a number of years ago with Prop 416 that specifically prohibits such unions. However, right next door in Iowa same sex marriages are, and have been for some years, so we’ll more than likely going there for the legal ceremony followed by a reenactment and reception here for family and friends.
Our hope is that some day in the near future the “full faith and promise” clause of the United States Constitution will be applied to same sex marriages performed in other states. In a perfect world….
Earlier in our relationship, when all signs were pointing to both of us being in it for the long haul, I asked Robbie if he expected me to get down on one knee when I decided the time was right, to which he replied,” Certainly!” Same sex partnerships present their own brand of “who does/asks/takes the lead/etc”. A certain amount of creativity and rules bending is often called for, but when I wanted to ask the man I love to be more than just a boyfriend and become my life partner I had no qualms about bending to pop the question. And so very thrilled at his “YES!”