“Jumping the Broom”

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couples, cozy, cozy couple, featured couple, gay marriage, gay rights, love, marriage, relationship, romance, romantic, same-sex marriage

Well it’s official! Robbie and I are engaged!

We had looked at engagement rings some time ago and each saw some we liked but without totally giving it away in order to maintain some element of surprise. Then stupid me had to get all practical and suggest that maybe we should skip the whole engagement ring step and spend more on matching wedding bands later. Okay, he seemed okay with this but I sensed a certain amount of disappointment. As it got closer to Christmas I decided to do the unexpected and purchased an engagement ring for him.

Robbie had to work until closing at his Wal-Mart Sporting Goods job so about an hour before he was supposed to get done for the night I dropped in unexpectedly.

         Him: “Well, what are you doing here?”

Me: “I need to come behind the counter for this” and dropping to one knee I said “I want to spend the rest of my life with you, will you take me”, or something like that, I’m not sure exactly as nervous as I was. I opened the ring box for him, just like in the movies (swoon) and

Him: ,” Well of course“, or something like that, I was still nervous. I put the ring on his finger and we kissed! Maybe not a Wal-Mart first, a marriage proposal and acceptance between two men, but definitely a first for our small town and this particular Wal-Mart.

We were very fortunate that I ran into a good friend of ours just prior to the proposal and instructed her when to snap the pics with my phone so that we have our personal moment recorded. Her teenage son was with her and I wasn’t sure what he’d think of the whole deal. He later told his mother that he had a new respect for us and that “Daniel’s a pretty cool guy”.

Announcing it later on Facebook was probably not the most proper way but it does seem so 21st Century and the love and congrats that followed were overwhelming!

So many people keep asking, “When’s the wedding?” We’ve yet to save the date but all of the inquiries prompted me to do a bit of research. I discovered 44% of engagements in the US are 13 to 18 months long. Not that we’re going to wait that long, but we both have some things to deal with before we can share living space and we are not about to get married and not be able to live together.

Of course Nebraska does not recognize same sex marriage, in fact the state’s constitution was amended a number of years ago with Prop 416 that specifically prohibits such unions. However, right next door in Iowa same sex marriages are, and have been for some years, so we’ll more than likely going there for the legal ceremony followed by a reenactment and reception here for family and friends.

Our hope is that some day in the near future the “full faith and promise” clause of the United States Constitution will be applied to same sex marriages performed in other states. In a perfect world….

Earlier in our relationship, when all signs were pointing to both of us being in it for the long haul, I asked Robbie if he expected me to get down on one knee when I decided the time was right, to which he replied,” Certainly!” Same sex partnerships present their own brand of “who does/asks/takes the lead/etc”. A certain amount of creativity and rules bending is often called for, but when I wanted to ask the man I love to be more than just a boyfriend and become my life partner I had no qualms about bending to pop the question. And so very thrilled at his “YES!”

 

 

Out of Daniel’s Closet- Chrismanukkah

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Christmas, couples, cozy, cozy couple, Hanukkah, Holiday, Holidays, love, new love, relationship, romance, romantic

 

Couplehood has it’s problems always and new relationships in the building phase have added burdens, with some bringing more to the table than others. Robbie and I have jumped some of the more important hurdles early on, family acceptance and such went off so smoothly as not to be believed and only a couple of “friends” have expressed disapproval. My mother adores Robbie, his Dad and I get along famously, my Son knew Robbie already so no issue there. On Thanksgiving I finally met his Mother. Robbie’s family Thanksgiving was at his mom’s now ex-2nd husband’s where we weren’t so sure I was welcomed as the guy is a bit homophobic so I made other plans to occupy my day until it was time to go to my family Thanksgiving.

Robbie was 1st at his former step dad’s place and he was shocked when asked,” Where’s Daniel, I had assumed he’d be with you”. So, before we left for Mom’s we stopped back together for proper introductions and all went quite well. What in the world, this is all just too easy, right? Good, one Holiday down!

As most readers of this column know, I’m Jewish and somewhat observant, Robbie is not Jewish, not particularly religious either, but he just loves Christmas! I mean out and out apeshit for the lights, snow, trees, presents, music, decorations…if it’s Christmas he loves it! One of the first concerns he expressed to me early in our relationship was whether Christmas would be an issue.

Fortunately he is informed enough to know that Hanukkah is NOT the Jewish Christmas, and he knew some of the story behind the celebration so it wasn’t like working with a blank slate. I appreciated his concern about my feelings. Coming from a mixed background and having certainly celebrated my share of Yuletides in my lifetime I’m no stranger to the Holiday, not by any means. Hey, the lights are pretty, and while some of the decorations are a bit much there’s lots of beauty in most of them and Jews wrote the best Christmas music!

Robbie drives a Suburban that he decorates with lights every year. I was teasing him about the lights not being quite enough. One day while he was working I surprised him by attaching pine garland and ornaments to the luggage rack, careful not to obscure the lights. Sneaky me, I created a Chrismanukkah theme with six pointed blue star ornaments. He was pleased with the outcome and loves it whenever someone  comments on it, we’ve been stopped by strangers in traffic and a window rolls down, a passenger in the next car calling out,” I love it!”

Hanukkah is next week, eight days of food and lights and gifts. It will be Robbie’s first time experiencing it and I do plan on getting all my decorations and Hanukkyot (9 candle Hanukkah Menorahs) out and up and I’ll introduce him to latkes and sufganyot. And we will do our first Christmas together and with friends and family. It’s all about joy and love and good times with people we care about. It’s also about taking pleasure in the differences between each other, for the things that might otherwise separate us are the very things we should seek as means of understanding and appreciation of that which brings joy to those we love. Not that we’ll make a merger of the two celebrations, they are too distinctly different in nature and history, but there will be times when, due to the differences between the Julian and Lunar calendars, the two will overlap, loving and living under the same roof will demand, compromise isn’t the right word here, strategic thematic planning at times.

It’s love, it’s sharing what we love, it’s seeing the world through our Lover’s eyes. Maybe that wouldn’t be such a bad approach in viewing others no matter who they are in our lives.

Happy Holidays All!

Written by: Daniel

Isn’t It Romantic- Holiday Edition

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cozy, cozy couple, Date night, entertainment review, Holiday, It's a Wonderful Life, love, movies, review, romantic

It’s A Wonderful Life

Okay, I didn’t win the lottery, so maybe life could be more wonderful and since everybody knows this movie, some of us line by line by heart, this is more a personal reminiscence than any kind of review, with apologies Mr. Capra!

I’m just guessing here, but I was probably about eight years old when my parent’s black and white console Zenith first presented me with “It’s A Wonderful Life”. Prior to this my favorite annual viewing was “The Wizard of Oz” usually around Easter and intro’d by none other than grown up Dorothy Gale. This was new, okay…old…but new to me. I was as hooked on Capracorn as Rimbaud was to the Green Goddess!

Just like Oz, my perceptions of IAWL changed with each annual presentation with maturity. As a child, Beulah Bondi scared me about as much as the winged monkey minions of the Wicked Witch of the West. My attitude towards the tramp Violet Bick softened over the years as well. And Mary Bailey, well what was there never to have loved about Donna Reed? (has anyone ever created a drag persona based on her?)

Before Ted Turner got a hold of it, along with other nefarious Cable TV types, IAWL aired annually on Thanksgiving night, CBS. Our family was always together for the Bird Day and watching the film together was part of our tradition, or at least I watched while the family watched me. It seems I’d developed a pattern. The scene that opened the floodgates of my tears concerns the Druggist a young George Bailey worked for as Soda Jerk and delivery boy. A terrible mix up has occurred, poison accidentally put in pills…Mr. Gowan receiving news of his soldier son’s death…confronting George and…here it comes…boxing him on his bad ear…I’m tearing up now just writing about it. THIS IS IT! I start weeping and it morphs into outright sobbing and throttling paroxysms of wailing and I’m out of control, I survey the room and all eyes are on me, have been on me the whole time, I’m pretty sure my Dad and Brother have a wager going, everybody watching me watching IAWL to see if I’ll cry on cue!

Oh and I have tried, how I have tried, even bought a copy to watch in the off-season, but no luck, the aversion therapy a total failure, in fact the psychosis increased, now I begin blubbering from the first, building to the eventual crescendo! So I’ve given up, it is what it is and always will be.

A debt of gratitude to whomever opted out of the Thanksgiving traditional airing of “It’s A Wonderful Life” and a sparing of being an object of mirthful derision for family gatherings.

Happy Holidays All!

Written by: Daniel

Daniel and Robbie: Breaking the Stereotypes

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couples, cozy, cozy couple, featured couple, love, new love, relationship, romantic

Featured Couple and OUT OF DANIEL’S CLOSET

“Plus One No More”

When Cozy Couples began publishing last year I was the single one on staff, besides being the only Gay columnist. The idea at the time was, I guess, for a gay, single perspective on the couples with which I interact here. Not so sure I ever quite lived up to that expectation but I certainly tried.

Well, the single life appears to be in my past now. This summer I became involved in a relationship with a great guy I’d known for years. Flirtations at work quickly morphed into something neither of us fully expected. So, this column will be taking an entirely different direction!

Our first date was Friday, July 13th…a late lunch and a Haunted Tour of the city that didn’t come off as planned but we did get to spend the evening talking about this and that while waiting in line for the tour that never happened. When we decided neither of us could stay up much longer to wait for the tour tram, I walked him to his pick-up and we said I farewells with a polite little smooch and promises to call tomorrow.

And yes that’s how it really happened! In a manner totally unique to Gay Culture we didn’t fall into bed, have outrageous sex and move in together next day. Robbie,(yes, forgot to tell you his name) and I did go on more dates, almost daily contact with only one or two breaks and on July 23rd pretty much decided we would start seeing each other exclusively. And our adventure in getting to know each other continues, as we build a relationship devoted to constructing a coupling based on love and understanding rather than sexual attraction (Oh, don’t worry, there’s plenty of that!!!).

We have a lot of hurdles to surmount. For one thing is the difference in our ages, although the good news is Robbie is older than my son and I am younger than his father. Early on we have been met with challenges, the recent death from cancer of my ex-wife being just one. But we are working together on all that life is throwing us, developing a genuine partnership as we go.

Hmmm, may have to change the title of the column to Adventures Out Of Daniel’s Closet!